“I came from a working class family. No good fighter comes from a middle class family. You’ve got to be wanting to get out of the environment you’re in. That’s what motivates a fighter.” - Sir Henry Cooper
You don’t have to be a heavyweight boxer or competitive athlete for this psychological principle to be true for you. It applies to us all.
Whatever it is you’re longing for: today, this week, this month, take a moment, look yourself in the mirror and decide that you want what you want, more than you want to be remain where you are.
Not because you should.
Not because it might please someone else.
Not because you think this is the path to more money and success.
But because this is the trade you truly want to make most.
During a recent American Idol audition, Katy Perry, in a causionary tone, offered the following wisdom & warning to the girl auditioning:
“If you’re singing to get more likes on TikTok, you’re only ever going to be a social media star. We’re looking for an American Idol.”
It's the truth behind your motivation, that determines results.
If your motivation is trapped in metrics (think: likes, comments, # of followers, money, pounds lost, size of your thighs) or the hope to receive validation & praise, then you’re out of alignment with your power & potential.
Whatever it is you want, the following three things need to take place:
1. You have to want (what you want) more than you want to be where you are right now. 2. You have to want it regardless of outcome. Outcome is never a guarantee for anyone. 3. You have to feel worthy of enjoying the daily trades required for meaningful success.
Enjoying the daily trades doesn’t mean you love every second of what you’re doing.
I used to box. Like real boxing, at a down & dirty boxing gym in Yonkers NY. I used to wake up at 5A to train before going to work. The workouts were hard. Sparring and getting hit, especially in the ribs or the face, wasn’t fun. I certainly didn’t enjoy every moment.
But I enjoyed what I was doing more than I wanted to NOT do it.
That’s the key.
Wanting exactly what you want creates the necessary fire within.
Wanting it more than you want things to remain the same, is the fuel that keeps the fire burning.
But then deciding to go after it in a way you love, deliberately freeing yourself from noise and numbers and what you want to have happen, is the secret sauce.
It’s how you enjoy both immediate relief and your best possible result.
Lastly, it’s taken me many many years to fully understand this truth, but I’m so glad I finally do.
It doesn’t take fight to get what you want. It takes putting down the fight and deciding you are WORTHY, finally, of doing what you want, in a way you love.
This is the approach of the true rebel. She refuses to spend any more time proving, performing or pleasing.
She values herself and her life way too much to make trades she doesn’t love.