When it comes to reaching goals, to achieving something more, our default (and conditioned) response is to think that there’s something significant we need to overcome: something from our past, a pattern of self-sabotage, a habit that’s got a mighty hold.
You’ll be relieved to know, you do not.
Enjoying a more satisfying result (faster and easier) comes by way of being more yourself.
Really pause here and take this in.
The approach isn’t one of working harder, overcoming, compensating, or thinking you need to conquer your fears and doubts.
(Our society wants you to buy into these ideas of course, because they are the much easier sell. More profits are made from people feeling bad about themselves than good.)
I imagine you’ve already tried this method, so you have proof that this way doesn’t work.
Rather than trying harder, ask instead,"How can I be more myself?"
How can I incorporate an approach that feels so me, one that feels easier and more aligned with my values?
When’s the last time you tried this approach?
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating....most people will dismiss this method because it doesn’t feel aggressive, disciplined, or hard enough.
We’ve been conditioned that “no pain, no gain” is the more admirable approach. It's the battle cry of the strong and brave. Our pride deeply connected to the story we want to tell others about how hard we had to work, how much we had to overcome.
By all means, you’re free to take the harder, heavier, more painful approach.
But if you're done enduring and working so hard, if you’re just not loving how things have been going, I hope you’ll play around with this powerful principle instead.
No more battling anything.
Access to so much more of your power, to living in a way that feels so solid and good, with far less struggle, is readily available. It's waiting for permission, for you to feel deeply worthy of becoming an even more honest version of yourself.
PS: There’s a reason why Michelle Obama’s book is called Becoming. I caught an interview with Oprah where she shared something Maya Angelou said about why being a woman in your 50’s and beyond feels wonderful.....”It’s like the you, you’ve been waiting to become.”
Becoming more you. If you’re going to aggressively pursue anything, let it be this.
"I used to think that to become free you had to practice like a samurai warrior, but now I understand that you have to practice like a devoted mother of a newborn child.
It takes the same energy but has a completely different quality. It's compassion and presence rather than having to defeat the enemy in battle." --Jack Kornfield
Where you are waiting, wishing and wanting; you don’t need to be more focused, disciplined or tougher on yourself.
Tending to your growth in a way that feels so good, with an approach that feels so you is the key to a most satisfying result.
Our greatest work is always about feeling deeply worthy of loving our approach.