Love, Deserving & Wanting More


I have not received love almost ever in my life. I did not have it from my mother and father from the beginning of birth and I survived.

Why did I get so far without love?

I’ve never had it.

I have had not one love affair that was genuine and sustained itself. NOT ONE.

I’ve been through fucking tons of heartbreak. (Her voice raises and she pounds the table.)

I have analyzed it. I have said, “What’s wrong with me?”

Why can’t someone see the beauty in the woman that I am? Not a goddamn person had found it.

Im a girl from a cotton field that pulled myself above what was not taught to me.

And I question myself and say; "How can you say you deserve a well to-do family:"

:: When you came from the cotton fields. :: When you came from the family you came from. :: And when you came from all of the destruction and the mistakes.

Because I want more.

SIMPLY. BECAUSE. I. WANT. MORE.

-- Tina Turner interview 1985

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It hurts to not get the love you need and want. It’s painful to not feel seen or valued.

You’re allowed to want all the things you want.

But you don’t need them.

You do not need them to create the life you long for.

You do not need them to rise up and become who you want.

There’s a difference between wanting and needing. The latter of the two is what keeps us stuck.

More than fame, fortune and fans. More than love, approval and appreciation; simply wanting more.

Worthy of wanting more is what matters most.

3 SIMPLE TRUTHS TO NOTE:

1. Where we are stuck, we have yet to reconcile feeling worthy.

2 What we did not receive growing up, we must now give ourselves.

3. No one can free you the way you can free yourself.

xx Lori