I gave my daughter a hard time about her school work last night. I laid into her about not keeping up with all her assignments in a specific class.
I went to bed feeling bad.
This school year is a mess for everyone; students, teachers, parents.
Admittedly, my stance with the kids hasn’t been the most consistent since the onset of COVID.
Some days I’m firm with them about putting in the maximum effort and other days I give them permission to slack off. I see the value in both.
But last night I felt bad about the harshness of my tone. With schools returning to remote learning, a state mandate to shut down sports, Thanksgiving without close family, feeling socially isolated from friends and Covid cases on the rise, the last thing kids need is to feel like they’re not measuring up.
This morning, I apologized for the harshness of my tone and made it clear I was here to support her during this difficult time.
I share this for two reasons;
To simply let you know that you are not alone. These times are tough for everyone. If you’re struggling at times to find your footing, if you’re experiencing hi’s and low’s, if you’re feeling anxious or depressed, rest assured you’re not alone. I am the keeper of many people's real stories so when I tell you that everyone is struggling, you can trust that it’s true.
I’ll hope you’ll allow yourself to take comfort in simply knowing that these times are unusually challenging. It’s okay to not be at your best.
Sometimes just taking the pressure off the great expectations we have of ourselves does wonders to bring us back to a calmer, more centered state.
Second, it’s never too late to circle back and course correct. Sitting inside a state of feeling bad is a terrible place to linger. It won’t ever help you get to a better place.
I find that some of the most intimate and meaningful moments with my kids come after there's been a big disagreement.
Circling back with my daughter after a good nights sleep, once we were both in a different energy state, allowed us to have the better conversation I wished had happed last night.
It confirmed the value of course correcting which brought both of us relief and restored our inner state back to good.
If you’ve been with me for awhile then you already know that it’s your internal state with yourself that matters most.
Even in your toughest moments, especially in your toughest moments, there’s always at least one, small corrective move that will help bring you to a better place.
It's this practice that helps take the edge off the ups and downs and will allow you to live more consistently from a foundation that feels healthy and solid.
It’s okay to not be your best self right now.
It’s okay to lower your expectations and loosen the rules. You may even discover you didn’t love some of those rules to begin with.
Many of my clients tell me that in between our sessions they talk to me in their head. I think it’s great.
There’s significant value in letting out what’s on your mind. We all need moments where we can unpack what’s feeling hard and heavy without judgment.
I’d like to offer you the chance to do that.
If you’d like to send me an email so you can get some things off your chest, please do. I think you’ll find it brings some relief and of course it will be kept in strict confidence. No one will ever know and you’ll get a chance to feel seen and supported.
Where we are tense, tight and stressed; we are being called to let in more light and love.
I hope you are well and taking good care.
PS: It’s easier to let yourself off the hook once you feel Worthy of being in a better state with yourself. Worthiness is always the game-changer.