In this story I'm going to share with you The Laws of Worthiness you need to know (the ones I use myself) to be able to eat whatever you want and lose weight, or get healthy or otherwise have the body you want. In fact, after about 15 years fighting my body and being insanely hard on myself for every single thing I ate, & now after 3 small children and ahem....being much older, eat whatever the heck I feel like, when I feel like it and I'm in better shape than I was when I was in my 20's. Go figure. "What the heck was I doing wrong?" You're about to find out.
Before I share with you what you must give up in order to reach any of our goals, there's two things you need to know:
Yes, I did lose 100lbs. It was from gaining about 34 pounds with each of my 3 pregnancies. Now you might be quick to judge and say "Well that doesn't count because you were pregnant and had babies and so obviously some of that weight loss was simply by giving birth." Yes you are right, some of the weight was baby weight but if you've had a baby or two or three like me than you know that it's not so easy to gain 34 pounds 3 times and then lose it. And lose it without trying so hard, without fighting yourself.
(hint hint: pay close attention to the words "fighting yourself", they are key!)
This is not just a story about how to eat what you want and never gain weight. I'll save that story for my upcoming feature in Shape Magazine.
How I Lost 100 lbs.
My Worthiness Secret to Moving Beyond Suffering & Sabotage in Any Area of Your Life.
Okay, let's go!
Last night I received a somewhat panicked and desperate email from one of my private clients, She was feeling all kind of crazy angry with herself after having a stressful few days of over shopping, over spending, feeling overly stressed, & not taking care of herself. And of course all this self-neglect led to some not so pleasant bingeing. And now, after spending money on a nutritionist and working really hard to help her lose the baby weight she had just gained 5 pounds. And so the spiral into her most mean and unworthy, self-sabotaging self was in full effect. She was feeling defeated, sad and somewhat hopeless.
I'm wondering if you can relate?
So after buying a doughnut this morning on my walk home from dropping my daughter off at camp, this was what I said to her.
"Okay woman.....I so so so hear you. I really do. I can relate 100% because that is exactly the place I was in with myself so many years ago and I can tell you for sure that you really can stop this cycle for good. The first step is realizing how fucking MEAN you are being towards yourself.
Now, I get it. Of course it feels shitty to gain back 5 pounds after working so damn hard. I know. It sucks. Step one is to say to yourself , "okay, that sucks and I'm upset that after working so hard I feel like I failed". In other words: step one is always to full on let yourself feel the way you feel. Own it. Say it. Feel it. Acknowledge it.
Now, here's where you're keeping yourself stuck in your vicious cycle of sabotage and suffering...
Once you align with yourself and say, "yeah, it sucks to gain back weight after working so hard. It sucks to feel disappointed and discouraged." then, you step into Your Worthy Self and by saying, "yeah it sucks, but that's alright. I can do this. I still love myself and will figure out how to support myself from here. I still deserve to have a great day or to feel good about myself even when I feel like I messed up. I am FAR greater than judging and punishing myself for a number on a scale or calories consumed.
Now.....I know this kind of positive, loving self-talk is hard to do, that's why it's called "practice" but I"m telling you from my own personal experience with the same damn vicious cycle of basing how I'm going to allow myself to feel on the food I ate or the size of my pants or a number on a scale, that the only way to stop this cycle for good and to reach your goal is to stop beating yourself up for every single move you make.
I know this might feel kind of abstract or like some kind of whimsical theory but it's not. It's very very specific. And I don't care if you're trying to lose weight or build your business, every single time you make yourself feel bad for an authentic feeling you're having, you quite literally hand all your power and self-respect over to your most unworthy self (ie: your inner mean girl). And trust me, that girl came to play.
They key is not to silence her, because the truth is she might just hang around for the rest of your life. We don't know and in a way it doesn't matter because rather than fight against her we turn to her and say "thanks meanie for showing up, you can hang out with me but here's the deal... I've decided I'm going to be more worthy than that, I'm going to love myself right where I am. No matter what."
This is the practice of self-love, self-respect and full on worthiness that when practiced daily (and yes, it has to become a daily habit, kind of like showering. Well okay: i don't shower every day. What? I have 3 kids! okay like, brushing your teeth.) when practiced daily begins to turn the quality of your whole life around. It's what allows you to begin eating whatever the heck you feel like and still reach your goals. Why? Because eating one donut or having one binge doesn't throw you off course, beating yourself up over and over and over again. Does. It's the beating yourself up that has to go.
When you practice at turning to yourself from a place of cheering yourself on, loving yourself no matter what; this is the worthiness habit that allows you to break the cycle for good.
The last thing I want you to know is that this takes time. I can't emphasize this point enough. Patience, persistence and practice are essential parts to the worthy warrior's journey. I want you to consider them like armor protecting you from your most unworthy self! Expecting yourself to just "be better already" to just "be over this already" or to be upset that you haven't " mastered this already" is the same inner mean girl telling you, "you suck, I told you you're not good enough, I doubt you'll ever get there".
You will get there by committing to this practice over and over and over again. By falling down, taking a few steps back, getting discouraged, doubting yourself and then deciding you're still going to loving yourself from there.
This is how you overcome. You don't overcome by measuring food. You overcome by measuring yourself from a deeper place of value.
You don't need to stop eating donuts to lose the weight. You don't need to stop 'messing up' in order to realize your dreams. What you need to do is commit to an ongoing practice of giving up your unworthy, punishing self.
From a girl who has a long track record of battling her body, and making herself feel ;less than', I realize just now as I'm sharing all this with you that I wasn't battling my body at all. It sure as hell felt like I was at the time, but what I was really doing was battling and devaluing my entire self.
I was constantly depriving myself of love and acceptance. And in doing so, I held myself hostage inside the tiniest little space where numbers and fat grams and speed on a treadmill were given a much higher value than how much I was valuing myself. As I've now learned and continue to practice every single day, you can't hold yourself hostage inside a tiny little place of value and the wonder why you're not living your greatest life.
You can't constantly beat yourself up and then wonder why you're not feeling energized or more alive. The Laws of Worthiness just don't work that way. Like ever.
So if by any chance you're feeling stuck in any of your own patterns of sabotage and suffering, it's NOT because you ate a doughnut or made a mistake. It's not because there's something wrong with you. It's because you haven't been in the practice long enough (or at all) of loving yourself first from right where you are.
The strategies I'm about to share with you work across the spectrum of your life, regardless of your specific goal. Whether you're looking for love or to make more money in your business these Laws of Worthiness will help you move beyond the suffering and sabotage in any area of your life. For good. No matter what. (Of course, they only work if you actually do the work!)
The Laws of Worthiness are proven and clear. If you're not worthy of loving yourself from here, you'll never allow yourself to get where you're longing to go.
If you'd like to learn my Laws of Worthiness so you feel much more confident and in control over the direction of your life, I invite you to learn more about private practice with me.
I will teach you my proven principles for getting the love and life you really want.
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These are not suggestions or whimsical theory, these are the principles for how you begin to set yourself free. Click here.
"This is without a doubt the most life-changing work I've ever done on myself and by far the best investment I've made in myself. Thank you for guiding me through this amazing work. You are brilliant! No other business, personal or "spiritual" course has even come close." - Michelle H