So, here you are continually putting forth the effort, positive attitude, persistence, knowledge and investment needed to reach a meaningful goal, all the while, deep below the surface, the real story at play is that you don’t deserve to feel good until you’ve reached a specific outcome.
You're feeding yourself junk food while still getting in your daily steps wondering why the heck the number on the scale won't budge.
The when/then mentality isn't a story of success. It's a junky story, a story of unworthiness.
This is a serious problem.
It’s why you often feel like you’re pushing a boulder uphill. You push forward a few steps, then slide right back down. It's why diets don't work.
What gives is that you’re trying to muscle your way through a story that can’t be outperformed. No amount of brain power or brute strength can overcome the real story below the surface.
This is why your daily work then isn’t to try to be more productive, positive, or disciplined.
Our work is always about shifting our story of not good enough.
We shift that story every single time we let ourselves feel good.
This is the core guiding principles for meaningful success.
The state you’re in with yourself matters more than anything else.
You can’t lose weight or make more money by withholding the very feeling state you long to be in most. Actually, you can...but the money won’t make you happy and the weight loss won’t last because you’ve done nothing to shift the deeper story with yourself.
You’re not living in a way you love.
And more than anything else, this is what lies at the heart of what all of us are after; living our life in a way we love.
So, your goal now, moving forward is to see how good you can let yourself feel moment to moment.
Stop checking boxes and start checking in with yourself instead.
If you need a nap; take a nap. If you need a long hot shower; go for it. If you need a break from social media; then shut it down.
As scary as some of these moves may seem in the moment, it's not our choices that drive results, it's not the number of hours we devote, it's the state we're in with ourselves.
You don’t need to wait before you’re allowed to feel good. Please don't. Because you, feeling good now, is the most powerful state you could be in.
xx Lori Fields, LCSW
Please reach out with any questions. Part Three of this series is coming soon.