Having completed my run, I move to a quiet corner of the gym to stretch. Kneeling down on the mat for child's pose, my back is painfully tight., immediately resisting the stretch. I stop for a moment and then attempt to stretch further. My back feels even more tight and tense.
I decide to ease off the stretch, and simply hold the pose where I’m at. Rather than pushing for more, I turn my attention to deepening my breath.
In choosing this approach, something fascinating happens; I’m able to stretch further, not because I kept pushing, but because I stopped.
How was I able to reach further (ie: achieve more) by ceasing the need to reach at all?
There is a powerful theory at play here, one I believe to be an absolute truth. It doesn’t just apply to what happens on the yoga mat, it applies to any area of your life where you want to achieve more.
The governing law is one of my Laws of Worthy and in simple terms it works like this;
Every move you make, regardless of how big or small, to make peace with where you are now, without asking that something change, the more power you’re able to source (from both yourself and the greater energy of the Universe) to achieve more.
It’s a principle that goes against our usual way of operating and is easy to dismiss as ineffective. I hope you will not.
I realize this new mindset feels scary. We’re afraid that if we’re not hard on ourselves and serious in our approach then we’ll never get where we want to go. I completely understand. I used to believe the same.
I now realize that the ability to know a deeper, freer, more satisfying experience with our lives is achieved by our willingness to shift our mindset and our approach.
When you’re able to breathe (ie: sit calmly and find your power) inside the current reality of your life, no matter how painful or uncomfortable or threatening it may feel; when you’re willing to feel good about yourself regardless of the current position you’re in, you create the best possible conditions for you to achieve (anything).
In essence by messaging yourself that you deserve to feel good, no matter the external circumstance (the physical pose), you begin to permanently turn the tide on the quality of your life.
We are never blocked by those things that seem like the obvious blocks; body issues, will-power, money, relationship conflict, fear, limiting thoughts, insecure moments, our perceived inability to focus or stay disciplined. These are not what prevent us from realizing a greater level of achievement or life fulfillment.
We block ourselves by subscribing to the false belief that only when we reach some other place will we finally deserve to feel good about ourselves.
It’s this mistaken belief coupled by our method for trying to achieve more, a method that is rooted in fear and insecurity and unworthiness that prevent us not only from reaching our goals but also strip us from enjoying our life more now.
This is a very big deal. It’s the exact path to a whole lot of disappointment, stress, unrealized dreams and regret.
Meaningful, long-lasting achievement doesn’t happen as a result of cracking the whip and messaging yourself that you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself until something changes.
Just like I experienced on the yoga mat, it’s by honoring what’s real for you in your life right now and then having the courage and willingness to love yourself in the midst of it, that you’re able to achieve more.
The less you ask that your life look a certain way before allowing yourself to feel good, the more likely you are to be pleasantly surprised at what you’re able to achieve.
I hope you won’t take my word for it. Please go see for yourself.
If you have questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. This is why I'm here.
love and light, xx Lori Fields, LCSW
Disclaimer: The statement above, "The less you ask your life to look a certain way" does not mean you shouldn’t have specific wants. I have specific wants and I would encourage you to do the same. What I'm asking you to shift is not the desire to have the things that hold meaning for you; I'm asking you to change up your usual approach.
In other words, don't let go of your wanting; let go of the custom of depriving yourself of feeling good until it's yours.