We lost power at our home yesterday morning. No TV for the kids. No Internet for me. No electricity for all the other things we're used to using regularly.
In my attempt to make the best of it, I opened my laptop and began finishing a piece of writing I was working on. After just a few moments of reviewing and editing, I decided to switch gears for a second. I hopped online to look something up for my post when I realized, duh, the Internet is out.
I went back to my writing thinking, “Wow. Imagine how much work I could get done if I wasn’t able to just jump online whenever I want?”
Imagine what I could accomplish if I stayed focused on one thing, without switching gears, without intermittent moments of escapism?
Imagine what could be possible if we were never seduced by the quick fix?
This losing power thing was starting to feel like a gift. A chance to see how much of my time online is an empty exchange. Kind of like consuming empty calories. I'm sure you have no idea what I mean. Of course, I knew all of this in my head already, but somehow the actual losing of our electricity this morning drove the point home for me.
Sometimes it's through losing what we think we need, that we're able to experience our power in a whole new way; a way that's so much more powerful and fulfilling.
For the rest of the summer I’m going to spend less time online so I can spend more time in quiet creation. I know that is the move that’s calling out to me. I have so many more things I want to create for you and much of my time spent online is not only a form of distraction, it's also an act of de-valuing.
What's the place that's calling you? I know there's something. We always have a deep whisper of a voice calling us to move a certain way, to try something. That voice is your inner knowing. It's your deepest love. Your most worthy self. It's something to take seriously for it's trying to guide you down the path that needs traveling.
We don't do the things we're used to doing simply because it's hard to give up TV or sugar or the Internet. Of course, that's part of it. But the bigger part, the one that has the real grip on us is this:
We do the things we're used to doing because it's hard to give up the much deeper, more complicated story; our story of deserving.
We fight to break free from our bad habits but the real fight we're in is not with the habit we're trying so hard to break. The real fight we're having is the one with ourselves. We're fighting against feeling worthy.
After all, what would happen to the quality of your life, to the way you'd now be able to feel about yourself if that habit you're trying to break no longer existed?
What would happen if you actually made the amount of money you wanted to make? What if you actually did feel that good about yourself? What if you had the body you really wanted? What if you absolutely loved what you were doing for a living?
Holy shit, right? That would kind of mess with everything.
We do all the things we do because of the story we're used to telling [about ourselves].
The problem is we're trying to break the wrong habit. The only habit that's got us stuck in our pattern of self-sabotage is the habit of feeling unworthy.
We don't need to wait until we lose our power or we get sick or the suffering is too great, in order to wake up to how we really want to be spending our time and energy.
We don't have to wait until our life falls apart in order to finally give ourselves permission to say yes to only those things that hold real meaning.
You are free at any moment to give yourself what you really need.
You are free at any moment to get off Facebook, to stop doing other people's laundry, to say no to a partnership that doesn't quite meet your standards, to stop joining with other people's story of struggle and suffering, to stop feeling guilty about anything and everything, to run your business your way.
This would of course require that you're willing to tell a different story. The story of feeling deserving.