What To Do If You're Not Getting What You Want. (Two-Part Series.)
Today's post is a two-part series about what to do if you're not getting what you want.
In the first part below you'll learn the specific steps necessary to help you manifest what you want.
Tomorrow, in Part Two, you'll learn how to determine where you fall on the scale of deserving. Keep in mind that the determining force behind getting what you want is how worthy you feel of having it. Let's Begin.
When I first moved from NYC to the suburbs I was in a state of overwhelm. I had all of our belongings to unpack and the entire house to set up, three young kids to take care of all day, a whole new way of life to figure out, a business I was longing to stay immersed in and oh yeah, myself to take care of.
One of the things I knew I needed was some kind of help with the kids, but I had no idea what I wanted that to look like. I spent hours researching local camps, considering an au-pair or a local live-in and investigating any other possible options until I realized that the easiest choice at the moment was to hire a babysitter part-time while I figured the rest of it out.
When there's something you really want (or need), sometimes it's enough to ask for it in general terms. It's enough to say, "Hey Universe, I need some help with the kids. What have you got?" And if the Universe responds with a great solution, then good for you, you're all set.
But sometimes our life wants more from us than a general ask.
Our life wants to see that we're absolutely serious. The kind of serious where there's no way we're going to back down or settle for anything less.
Knowing what you want and putting forth a general ask is a perfectly reasonable place to start, but if you're not getting the response you want, here's what needs to happen next.
You need to get uber specific with your ask. Vague desires rarely get met.
When I put forth my general ask for help with the kids, I didn't get met with very much. But when I forced myself to get specific about what kind of help I wanted, I was met with a very different result.
When I said, I want a sitter Monday through Wednesday 9:30 - 12:30. Someone who drives, someone who my kids and I love and trust, someone who could be flexible with more hours if needed, someone who feels easy to have around, guess what happened next? I found not only 1 but 2 incredible sitters and we have been lucky enough to work with them both.
Your life really does want to give you what you want.
In fact, I've found that The Universe has a way of consistently over-delivering on our ask, but you have to know the truth behind how it all works and love yourself enough to want to do the work.
The truth is that you have to be willing to get very, very specific. You have to treat your desires (no matter the size) as absolute non-negotiables. You have to expect that it will work out.
The most critical piece of this entire equation is that you have to feel worthy of your ask. Meaning, you have to believe that you deserve to have all the great stuff that will happen on the other side of your desires being met.
Most people don't realize that the deserving piece is always the block.
I've found that most people have a knee-jerk reaction to this concept of feeling worthy. They tend to react immediately by saying, "Of course I deserve some help with the kids, or with the house or to make lots of money in my business."
But the way they consistently talk to and treat themselves tells a much different story. Your self-talk and daily habits tell the real story of whether or not you feel deserving.
My clients who have significantly enhanced the quality of their lives have all walked through this exact work with me. These are the principles, that when integrated into your daily life hold the power to help you live your richest, most rewarding life.
In Part Two of this post tomorrow you'll learn some important questions to start asking yourself to assess where you fall on the scale of deserving.