“When you crave the end result, the hard work becomes irrelevant.” - Tim Grover
People come to me all the time sharing how badly they want to change their life. With tears in their eyes and speaking truthfully from the heart, they recount all the ways in which their life isn't working out. They tell me how much it would mean to have their life be different.
But when it comes time to draw the line in the sand and actually commit to doing the work they usually unload a laundry list of reasons why they can't.
Before you think this post is meant to make you feel bad, it's quite the opposite. I'm going to share with you what I've learned to be true about excuses so you can free ourselves up get what you want.
When you crave the end result,
When the thing you really want holds deep meaning for you,
When you show up to those things you want (no matter how big or small) from a place of real self-love,
When what you want has nothing to do with anyone else, you realize that the way you've been thinking about the work has been all wrong.
The work isn't some big scary dragon you have to slay if you ever hope to get somewhere else. The work isn't punishing and brutal and something you'll regret.
The work, when we're willing to view it as an exchange for the right to reach our goals, can now be seen for what it truly is; our way out.
The work is always a reflection of the real relationship you have with yourself.
This is the exact reason it can feel so hard. This is the exact reason we are quick to make and believe our excuses. It's not because we don't have the money or the time. It's not because we don't really want what we want. It's not because we're afraid of failing.
Our excuses are always lying to us; they are always full of shit. The real reason we don't say yes to the work is because we don't yet feel deserving of having what we really want; we don't yet feel worthy of letting ourselves feel that good.
One thing I know for sure is that the only return you will receive for treating your excuses as truth is the opportunity to stay safe and sound inside your pattern of devaluing yourself.
Tim Grover is wrong in the opening quote. No offense. But it's not enough to crave the end result. It's only by feeling worthy of the result that the hard work and the excuses become irrelevant.
If there's something you really want in your life, whether it's something small you want today or something big you want a year from now; get clear on what it is and the excuses that keep coming up. And then instead of depriving yourself because of some bogus excuse that's a big fat lie to begin with, see if you can approach your goals from a place of real worthiness and love.
How might that change what you decide to give yourself?
There's a whole lot of power to be found in being kind to yourself. Please don't take my word on it. Go see for yourself.