This morning as I was pouring my coffee I saw a mother deer and her 2 babies grazing on our front lawn. One of the fawns was spunky and playful. She was hopping along trying to get her sibling to play. The fawns would play and eat, play and eat.
And as soon as their mother started to move along to a different part of the yard, the fawns would follow suit. Hopping, playing, rubbing up against their mama, then going back to doing their own thing; always in close proximity to their mama.
Watching the deer out the window made me think about the dynamic between a mama and her babies.
Our kids don't always behave. In fact, the entire growing up process consists of testing boundaries, aligning then rebelling, and learning how to individuate. But for most of their childhood, the part of their life that lays the foundation for learning about right and wrong and how things work and what they should and shouldn't believe, children follow their mama's lead.
Children look to us for everything.
They follow us, they feel our energy, they see who it is we're being. They see how we dress and what we eat. They see how we spend money. They see the way we interact with others. They know what we're most afraid of. They witness what we spend our time doing.
The relationship we have with ourselves has a huge impact on who they end up being.
So don't forget to take care of yourself. Don't forget who it is you came here to be. Don't forget about your dreams. Don't forget about who's watching and following your lead.
Almost every mother I know talks to me about feeling guilty for a whole host of reasons, for working long hours, or going out with her friends or for going to the gym in the middle of the day. No matter which way we turn, we end up feeling selfish or guilty.
This way of treating ourselves not only destroys the quality of our own life, but leaves a lasting impact on all the people around us who are watching.
We want our children to live an incredible life, we want them to have extraordinary adventures and try new things. We want them to be curious and to keep learning. We want them to understand how to make and manage their money. We want them to be healthy and happy and spend time with their friends. We want them to love how their living their life and follow their dreams. Yet we feel guilty and label ourselves selfish for doing the very same thing.
In this way, what we want for our kids and the message we're actually sending them through our own way of living are two very different things.
Maybe it's time to realize that you've been holding yourself in an extremely unfair and unreasonable place?
Maybe it's time to value your life they way you do your children's?
When my children were really little, around the age of 8 months, it became really clear that children don't follow what you say; they follow what you do. They wouldn't eat the vegetables on their own plate, but they would sit on my lap and eat mine.
There is no denying that our children learn about themselves by watching every single thing we do.
I can't ask my children to love their life, if I'm not willing to love my own. I can't expect them to take great care of themselves, if I don't do the same. I can't expect them to believe that their voice matters, that their life matters, if I don't treat myself that way.
Your kids may rebel, they may think you're weird or embarrassing, they may not understand why you're doing what you're doing, they may decide to move far away, but just like those fawn on my front lawn this morning, I can guarantee that your children are always watching and following your lead.
Don't forget who you came here to be. Don't devalue what you truly care about.
Don't prevent yourself from doing all the little and big things that light you up and turn you on and bring you pleasure and help you believe.
Living the life you truly want sets everyone free. There's nothing selfish about it.
love and light,
ps. You don't have to be a mama to give yourself permission to be who you want to be. All the little girls in the land are watching.