I'm sitting alone in the hotel room. I've got a huge smile on my face.
It's a rainy and windy Saturday afternoon in NYC. The kids are napping and my husband's at home waiting for our sitter to arrive.
He thinks we're just going to dinner on our date night tonight, but I've got a little surprise up my sleeve. I've checked us in for the night at a luxurious hotel down the street.
Yesterday when the idea for a night at the hotel came to me, so did a million reasons why I shouldn't say yes to this.
Should we really leave the kids with a sitter overnight?
Can we really afford to do this?
Maybe this is too extravagant, we could be using our money another way.
Maybe we don't really need this time away?
The reason why we shouldn't treat ourselves came super fast and easy.
But then I thought about how long it's been since we've been away from the kids (at least 4 years), and how great it would feel to surprised my husband.
I stopped giving weight to the reasons we shouldn't and thought about how great this night out would be.
Why is it so easy it is to see all the reasons why we shouldn't do something? What are we really so afraid of?
We get a vision or a feeling for something that might feel great and it immediately trips our switch straight into all the reasons why we think we shouldn't do it.
Have you asked yourself to take an honest look at the yardstick you've been using to decide when the time will be just right to do what you really want?
We say we're waiting until the kids are older, until we lose some weight, until the weather is better, or until we have more money in the bank.
Some of us spend our lives inside this unfortunate waiting game, completely unaware that our long-standing habit of holding ourselves back has become our modus operandi.
We think it's about the money or the weight or about what somebody else might have to say, but our reasons and rationalizations are a brilliant disguise for the real story of not feeling worthy.
We're wrestling with feeling deserving of having what we really need.
Who am I to have this amazing hotel room, to spend this money, to be this happy? Who am I to enjoy this when there are others suffering?
And this big, bad, bold, uneasy questioning of our worthiness is the dark cloud that's been lingering. It's exactly how we lose our way.
Did I mention that when I walked into this hotel room you could have tried for hours but you wouldn't have been able to wipe this big grin off my face?
You can't hold the value of a meaningful experience, a moment of respite, a special night with someone you love, or anything else you're longing to do, against how you might be judged or by the amount of money you spend. (Disclaimer: I am in no way talking about being extremely irresponsible with your money.)
You can't measure the value of giving yourself what you need against where you fall on the scale of deserving.
Right here. Right now. Today. There's nothing else you have to do. There's no where else you need to be.
When you begin to make your daily choices from a place of truly feeling worthy, you stop missing out on the possibility of how great your life can be.
The quality of your entire life is up to you. The way you start increasing the quality is by saying yes to all the little (and big) things that you really want to do.
I'm off to enjoy this hotel room. I can't wait for my husband to join me.
What are you going to do this week to give yourself something you really really want? I seriously want to know. Please share it with me below. Let's support one another in our daily practice of helping ourselves to feel worthy.